A mother offers a message of hope

Judy Shepard remembers her son as a charismatic young man who traveled the world and took a strong interest in politics.

"Matthew was always open for the next step and next challenge in life," said Shepard. "His experiences in his young life opened his eyes to differences around him and he was considered open-minded and a good friend to others."

Everything changed when Matthew was brutally attacked by two men the night of Oct. 6, 1998, and died from severe head injuries six days later.

Russell Arthur Henderson and Aaron James McKinney are currently serving life sentences without parole for assaulting and murdering Matthew because of his sexual orientation.

Last Thursday, Judy Shepard spoke in Hendrix Theater as part of Hate Out Week. Almost 10 years since his death, she spoke of her loss through the same victim impact statement that she read during the trial of her son's murderers.

"I will never understand how anyone could feel so threatened that they would want to harm him," she said. "He was my first born, my first son and most of all, my best friend."

Shepard spoke about when she received the call about her son.

"My husband and I were in Saudi Arabia at the time, and the trip to get to him felt like an eternity of not knowing if he would be alive when we got there," she said.

Upon returning to the United States and coming to Matthew's side, she could barely recognize her own son. He suffered severe brain stem damage from a fracture that extended from the back of his head to the front of his right ear, along with other injuries that were deemed too severe to be operated on.

"Matthew was emotionless and unaware, with his head swaddled in bandages and his face swollen and covered in stitches," she said. "The only way I recognized him was by the cute bump on the top of his left ear."

Students listened as Shepard discussed the hatred she felt from the two men who murdered Matthew, and the outpouring and support that she received from people around the country.

"We received monetary support from so many for the hospital bills, and with this, we decided to found the Matthew Shepard Foundation … the mission is to replace hate with understanding, compassion and acceptance," Shepard said.

She says that she does not blame the killers entirely for their actions, and believes society has forced stereotypes about the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) community into their heads. She believes that all issues apply to all minorities.

"Two men learned that it was okay to hate, and they were given the impression that people allow these crimes," Shepard said. "Racism is alive in this country; it is thriving, along with anti-gay hate crimes."

Shepard encouraged the audience to reevaluate language that they may use in daily life, and to exchange degrading words for uplifting and encouraging ones. Shepard believes that hate does not enhance life or families, but simply tears them apart.

"We are all the same underneath-we breathe and bleed just the same," she said. "But we are still teaching our children hate and this changes nothing about society."

At the end of her speech, Shepard encouraged students and young people across the nation to remember that they are the ones who will decide the fate of the GLBT community.

"Pay attention to the issues," Shepard said. "We must participate and improve the community if we want to see a change."

Almost ten years later, Judy Shepard still remembers her son's vibrant energy-someone who was loved unconditionally by his entire family. In her words to the audience, she offered support to those who debate on revealing their sexual identity to loved ones, saying they shouldn't be scared of what society thinks.

More information can be found at the Web site, matthewshepard.org.

This writer can be contacted at features@theeastcarolinian.com.