Inside the music album guide

Queen & Paul Rodgers, The Cosmos Rocks, 2 out of 5

Of all the singers in rockdom, Paul Rodgers was probably never thought of as a replacement for Freddie Mercury. You can't blame him for that, though, as there is no replacement for Freddie. But nonetheless, two of the original members (Brian May and Roger Taylor) return with their new vocalist to put out a new and highly anticipated album. The problem? While all the songs are penned by the band, Rodgers' influence shines through the hardest.

Rodgers, who is better known as the lead singer for Free and Bad Company, could be the one to blame for this travesty. And if you've ever listened to either of those bands, you know how much they don't have in common with Queen. In that respect, May and Taylor should have dropped the name of Queen and just have accepted being the backing band for the Paul Rodgers Show. The intentions are unclear; on one hand, they may be trying to keep the spirit of Queen alive, on the other, they may just be trying to sell albums.

The material rarely resembles anything Queen ever did. It's what you'd expect; material that is slightly better than anything Bad Company accomplished (which isn't saying much), and it makes you wonder what it would have been like to hear Mercury burst out on songs like "Small" or "Time to Shine." "Small" especially, as it is reminiscent of the style behind "Under Pressure," the masterpiece they did with David Bowie.

At the same time, Rodgers is trying to put on his best Bono impression with crackling vocals and quasi-meaningful lyrics. And that's when The Cosmos Rocks is at its best.

When it's on the other side of the spectrum, it winds up sounding like a cheap blues-rock that Rodgers was dying to release to the world but couldn't because no one cared. We still don't.

The opener, "Cosmos Rockin'," is an uncharacteristic tune that imitates the horrific stuff that Bad Company did after their monstrous debut. "We Believe" may be the cheesiest call to peaceful arms ever. Vietnam is over and the Iraq conflict deserves protest, not calls from wannabe hippies. "We believe there's a deed of obligation/to make peace with every nation." Wow.

And even when May and Taylor are able to write a song that seems like something they might have tried to swing with back in the day with Mercury, Rodgers never gives the vocal performance it deserves. Either he doesn't have the swagger and style of Mercury (likely) or he's uncomfortable with being as flamboyant as Mercury (also likely). That, in turn, destroys potential Queen classics like "Call Me," where Rodgers throws a twang into his voice. Are we sure where that twang came from? Nope.

In the end, you have to give the "band" some credit. It could have been a lot worse. The songs aren't unlistenable, they're just boring and cliché. My God, are they cliché. And even though most of the moments don't work, they do craft some nice sounding tunes that could be shaped over by other artists.

Though, it's unlikely that those bands will want to say they're covering a crappy song from an even crappier album.

This writer can be contacted at features@theeastcarolinian.com.