Campus Dining and you

Say hello to little Billy. Recently, Billy has been noticing some changes. The Galley has transformed into an all-you-can-eat eatery. Todd Dining Hall is undergoing renovations for the fall semester. Why, there is even talk of a Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits and an Applebee's down the road! Aramark and Todd Johnson over at Campus Dining sure are having loads of fun! Come and join Billy on this swell adventure as we travel through the halls of Campus Dining.

But slow down there, little Billy. Don't go swiping that OneCard too quickly now! First, we must ask ourselves a few questions. Why do your meals count for over seven dollars whenever you use them at the dining halls, regardless of your timing, but just over three dollars at the 360 during lunch hours? Where do your meals go during spring break when servers in the British Isles cannot seem to grasp the idea of Pirate Bucks? How come they don't roll over to the following week? The following semester? It's seven o'clock on a Monday, and Billy and his buds are hungry. Luckily, since they all live on campus, they are part of a legally binding contract that stipulates their having a meal plan. Good thinking, Billy. You and your buds have thought ahead! But where to eat, you may ask? One of you wants Subway while another is in the mood for quesadillas. Yummy, but you can't have both.

After much deliberation, the gang decides on the Destination 360, and so they set off. After choosing their meals, they make their way to the cashier and begin their transactions. To Billy's astonishment, one of the boys is allowed to use two meals at the same time! No, Billy, that's no magic; that's a commuter meal plan!

That's right, Billy, commuters are allowed meal plans that break the laws of physics! These contracts, titled "Interstate" meal plans, allow commuters a set number of meals per semester to better gauge their investment and their hunger pains. Why, with even half the left over money between an I-95 (95 meals) and a standard 14 Pirate plan devoted to Pirate Bucks, Billy still has plenty of bread for his lady friends.

Well, Billy, it looks like you are ready to start eating on campus! Just keep that OneCard ready and an eye on your Pirate Bucks. If you have a thirst of Naked fruit drinks as much as I do, Billy, your account will be drier than British humor!

This writer can be contacted at opinion@theeastcarolinian.com