Help! I'm single!

Remember those days when you were young and you came home from the playground because your crush pushed you and didn't like you back? Your mom, grandma or whoever was around would give you a cookie and a big glass of milk and say, "One day you'll find that person for you." Later the same advice came to you in a more adjusted manner -- you'll meet your husband or wife someday in college. Well, little did we know, dating in college is not that black and white.

The dating scene is difficult in college because of all the pressures that have accumulated over the years. Not only has the economy worsened sufficiently over the past decade, but this has caused the career world to become more competitive as well. Now, it is as if a master's degree is standard and people have been forced to return to graduate school as a result of not being able to find a job after graduation. So on top of students having to strive harder in school and adding on extra-curricular activities to add that boost to their resume, how are they supposed to fit dating into the picture?

In addition to the added academic and career-related pressure, the concept of dating itself has seemed to disappear. A study composed by the Institute of American Values showed the nonexistence of dating in college over the past few years. According to this study, dating has been replaced by only two extremes -- hooking up, which is defined as sexual encounters with no expectation of pursuing anything further, or "joined at the hip" relationships, which is a relationship in which the two people sleep together, study together, do laundry together and spend every day and almost every hour together.

After reading the article rather skeptically, I thought about people that I knew who fit exactly into one or the other and realized a lot of truth in the article. I have friends who meet people nonchalantly and go through them one after the other like eating jellybean after jellybean because it's impossible to eat just one. I have other friends who are in "relationships" but spend so much time with each other that I see them less and less until they break up and then it is as if they are a hermit emerging from their shell. Then again, I have other friends who have completely given up on the whole idea of dating in college because it has regressed into only these two forms.

Nevertheless, for the boys that are discouraged because they feel that the nice guys always come last, or for the girls who think they might end up like the stars of "Sex and the City" and not get married until they are 40, just go along for the ride. There are so many other things to experience in college and after college. Traveling the world or joining the Peace Corps are just some things that one can partake in for the years after college. Statistics have shown that the average age of marriage has increased from 23 years of age in 1990 to 27 years of age in 2000. So maybe everyone is agreeing that there is much more to living life than having to worry about finding a spouse to settle down with in the four short years of college. I'm not saying you should be that person addicted to jellybeans, but just go along for the ride and remember, just as the wise Dr. Hitch says, "basic principles -- there are none!"

This writer can be contacted at opinion@theeastcarolinian.com.