Pirate Rants

When I pick up the new purple and gold Bud Light cans out of my yard, it kind of feels like an Easter egg hunt... but they're all empty.

Way too many people in Greenville now... and parents leave already! I'm trying to get with your daughter!

I hate the $20 per month rent tax that the city is proposing!

No love is a hard lesson...

I love you Pirate Bucks... I missed you!

Why can't I park on streets that I pay taxes on?

What is up with all the RED HEADS this year??? AHHHHHHHH

GO PIRATES!!

Thanks STA for eliminating my ride to school, at least the other students can still get a bus ride the bar.

Big things come in small packages, but guys with big trucks generally come with small packages.

I don't play games; I play boys.

City Council closing the clubs? What will be next, Halloween?

Is it me or are there far, FAR too many people on campus this fall? Summer classes spoiled me.

Welcome to ECU little brother! Party time!

I graduated last December and I still read every issue of The East Carolinian online at work. It takes me back to my happy place.

To the primitive who wanted the key system back, this is the 21st century! Thank you!

Dear roommate, seriously, you should talk. I won't eat you. Really.

I've never seen a farm tractor go down 10th. Now I can say I have. Welcome to Greenville. (pronounced Green-vul).

I think nerdy girls are hott!! Sluts are not…

There are some participants in the dance team that need to keep their clothes on during practices. I'm just saying.

Is it wrong that I listen to Heidi Montag's "Body Language" when I'm all by myself?

I'm sorry that I forgot your first name and we had a class together in high school! I feel awful, I'm going to go die now...

So, how bout them budget cuts? Not enough paper to print stuff out? Well, how about we turn in less assignments then? Hmm?...

To the creepy guy in my English class: I saw what you were doing under your desk. Those things should really be done in privacy.

The CB Ninja, Formally known as the NCC Ninja has officially moved into Copper Beech. He was seen atop the roof of the office with his bo-staff.

You know you're a true Pirate when you plan for Halloween in the middle of the summer.

Attention ECU seniors: FAIL YOUR CLASSES! The real world sucks. PS: I'm writing this from work.

To the new Freshmen...that paved thingy with the yellow lines that runs the length of the mall...um...we call that a road...the raised cement thing next to it...that is a sidewalk...pick the right one to walk on. Thank you.

Go green and die of suffocation on the ECU transit system!

The last time I checked, there were no UV rays indoors. Why do people wear their sunglasses INSIDE? You really don't look cool/smart.

So here is a lesson to all you inconsiderate people riding the bus...wait until the people already on the bus that are getting off to actually do so before you decide to bring your big butt on and block the door way! Thanks!

To the girl in the white sundress sitting at the back of the dining hall Thursday at dinnertime: I saw you keep looking at me. You're gorgeous. Say something next time.

Dear front row girl in my classics class... Why oh why must you race to answer every question? Have you ever considered that maybe someone else would like to speak?

There's no feeling like spending $230 on a "brand new" book and unwrapping it to find that someone's already written notes inside.

To all my fellow Pirate Seniors ARRRRRRGH and welcome to the Pirate Nation Freshmen have an awesome year!!!

I wonder how many underage drinking tickets were given out this weekend.

Beat those MOUNTAINEERS!!!!! AAARRRRRGH!!

Is it time for the new season of Gossip Girl yet? I'm dying without it!!

The next person I see on campus wearing App State paraphernalia is going to catch a judo chop right in the jugular... You've been warned.

To whoever took a car magnet off my car this past weekend in Copper Beech, PLEASE RETURN IT! If you had any sense you would have seen it was remembering a close friend that recently passed away. That's just disrespectful.

To the guy driving the SUV outside the music building: You're lucky you didn't hit me. I was a pedestrian, on a crosswalk in a parking lot. Court would have been fun.

Big belt buckles and cowboy boots just aren't cutting it around Greenville. Make your way back to Podunck.