Pirate Rants

Dis, dat and da are NOT words. And you're an English major?

The extra police presence downtown just means more underage drinking tickets!

Is it that difficult to find a decent guy at ECU who is not sleeping with anyone else while he is sleeping with you?

To the person that submitted the rant about stereotyping and campus alerts: No, it's not that WE are always in the campus alerts, just that whenever YOU are perpetrator, they are conveniently not sent to the student body.

I'm hoping that you realize from your recent misfortune dear friend, that she, "your good friend," is a really bad influence on you. You're in trouble now because of her shenanigans.

Well, well, well, Clown. What a tangled web we weave...

I can't wait for football season! Bring on the tailgating!

Your two big friends make my little friend very happy.

Dear Professor: I'm very sorry if I disrupted your teaching by leaving the classroom a few times Friday morning. I was feeling a little sick after Thursday night downtown. I didn't miss much anyways. Sincerely, a bored/hung-over student.

Honey, you have a better chance of getting a divorce then you do getting the fountain turned on.

Apparently, being a parent does not mean you are smart or mature.

I have some suggestions for some streets that they need to block off during the day. YIKES!

I love summer mostly because all of my Pirate Rants get printed.

To all women looking for hot guys: Try looking for nice guys. There are a lot more of us then you think and we usually have interesting things to say.

If there is one thing that really turns a good man off, it's a really drunk girl

I think anyone who wants to go drinking and clubbing downtown should first be forced to read a book. People will still get drunk, but at least they'll have something interesting to talk about in their stupor.

Turn your car stereo down!

We, your coworkers, would like for you, the dirty old pathological liar and pervert, to leave us alone and go bother people your own age at a real job. Thanks!

Dear girl bus driver with the green hair, does the carpet match the drapes?

Dear WZMB 91.3 FM, I think that the Johnny Knoxville station i.d. is the funniest thing ever. It makes me smile every time. Keep up the excellent work.

Was I supposed to be upset that you deleted me from Facebook?

If it talks like a slut, dresses like a slut and everyone says it's a slut, then it usually IS a slut.

Most of your friends think you are a spoiled little brat and I am beginning to agree.

To my fellow classmate in Dr. Taylor's class that submitted the rant in last week's paper: I can think of one in particular that really should heed your advice and unfortunately he doesn't look like the type to read the Pirate Rants!

ECU is supposed to be about safety but yet more of the parking lot hours are changing so we can't park on campus as early. What's the deal with that?

Where are all the nice Christian girls around here?

We're just ordinary people and don't know which way to go.

If I ever see that black guy that steals dogs from people's back yards and sells them, I will strangle him...