Pirate Rants

To the girl SLUUUURRRPING her drink in the computer lab every time she took a sip...next time use a straw...Thanks

Goodbye newly acquired bff. This is the last set of Pirate Rants we will ever read together. Did you ever think we'd be so friendship compatible?

It sucks when you wonder the whole day who the hell took you home from downtown the night before and you can't figure out where your car is, and you look outside to find your car in the parking lot and you just then realize...I drove myself home

I wouldn't be as mad at the fact that all our guy friends like you if your IQ were at least half my shoe size.

To the guy who was sitting in his car in the library parking lot late at night during exam week: I'm glad I walked by and caught you masturbating.

I graduated in May 2008...oh how I wish I'd taken the "6-year plan"

Having an argument on your phone in the library is really rude. Hang up the phone.

What kind of wuss keys an apartment door?

It's not just awesome that I walked in on you brushing your teeth. It's awesome that I walked in on you brushing your teeth, naked, using my tooth brush.

I went to KFC (the one near 10th street) to get chicken for my family and me, AND THEY DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH CHICKEN TO FILL MY ORDER!!! HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN? YOU'VE BEEN SELLING CHICKEN FOR HOW MANY YEARS?? AND YOU HAVE THE WORD CHICKEN IN YOUR NAME!!! CHICKEN SHOULD BE THE LAST THING YOU RUN OUT OF!!! Someone should write an opinion post about this....

I graduated from ECU with an Education degree and no job lined up for next school year...could the budget be approved so I can have a job...please!

A joker comes out of the clock at Joyner Library?

Well seems the guys are only wearing knee high black socks. You are correct any knee high socks are horrible. But when did all the guys think that black socks all the way up their legs and black shoes were attractive??

I am NOT disposable. Just because we're not living together doesn't mean that I don't matter anymore. You make me SICK!!

Know what is so great about summers at ECU? Half naked guys that run around campus even when its 32 degrees outside...yummmmm

Minivan drivers really piss me off...what is it about angry soccer moms that makes them drive like total MANIACS?!

When I once said you were shady, turns out I was right. You cause more shake than a total solar eclipse. And did I mention fake? Shady McFake, should be your new name.

It's only the second day of class and I am already lost. Crap.

I thought you came to ECU with me so we could major in something we both loved. It's been a year, and so far you've taken away two guys' virginities, ruined your roommate's life, and made me re-think my major. I can't wait to room with you next year. This entire summer break is dedicated to brainstorming plots for next year. :)

Freshman year Room and board: $5,000 Textbooks for all your classes: $500 Seeing the look on your dad's face when he sees the grades from your first year of college...Priceless!

To the girl who cracks her neck everyday in class ..IT'S GROSS, will you please stop ??!!

So I think it is pretty hilarious that you told me you were your younger brother to try to get with me because you thought I would be impressed that 'you' played baseball for ECU...too bad you were suppose to be in Mississippi that night.

Did you REALLY think that blocking me and all of my friends on Facebook would prevent me from hearing how you became "official" with another girl just 3 days after dumping me? Come on now...

Thanks for dumping me on the way to the library. I definitely got a lot of studying done for my huge final the next day...

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss ECU's internet server.

ECU, you suck. I pay over $600 a semester to use all the crap on campus and now that I don't go to summer session you want me to pay $64 to uses the gym how are we suppose to fight obesity on ECU's campus if you are charging people to use the gym! Very counterproductive Health and wellness

Dear Fathers that let your 17-year-old daughters run around dressed like a hooker for orientation, Just to let you know they will get drunk and raped within the first semester.