Pirate Rants

To the people who stand outside of Dowdy and try to hand me flyers: Stop. I'm not interested.

Rehab needs to start wiping up their floors, because I'm sick of busting my ass in front of everyone in a tiny dress and heels.

Did my professor really just say, "We'll shoot through this stuff like crap through a goose"?

I love Chinese food, but due to the language barrier, ordering it is a pain in the butt!

I saw a sign showing what a word might look like if you were dyslexic... When I read it, the word looked correct to me...

I get it, I have a big booty. I know I look good from behind. But if I hear one more remark from the boys…

Do you actually need a monogrammed headband? Are you that likely to forget your name where everything you own has your initials on it?

Hair down and painted finger nails: hello summer and good bye nursing school!

Dollar beer is not a good deal. Beers are just overpriced the rest of the time.

Have you ever made fun of someone and then found out that they were retarded? That happens to me way too often.

Most common used phrase on ECU campus: "Are you going out tonight?"

If you'd stop screwing around with all the brothers in the frat then maybe we'd like you more...

How do you sleep knowing all I do is think of you?

I finally figured out how to submit Pirate Rants and I can't think of anything witty to say. Go figure...

Roommate, when I trimmed my pubic hair, I put it in your desk chair and drawer. You never saw it! HAHA

It gets annoying when you're doing a paper on President Obama and spell check has no clue.

Blame it on the Alcohol, Jamie Foxx has just given more than half of ECU's girl population their perfect excuse!

You're right, Jews can't be pirates

Is it bad that I am running out of money and I am more worried that I won't be able to afford beer than food?

Favorite pick up line: "Girl I can see your crack, can I buy a gram?"

Dear SafeRide coworker, I really hope this rant is published because it's the only way that I could ever tell you that I want you so bad that it hurts.

Sometimes I like to bust out into the Lion King Song....NAAAAA SABANIA!

Only at ECU would you go to get your prescription of Adderall refilled at Student Health and they would be fresh out at exam week

It is such a sad day when you realize your hot neighbor is not interested in you because you are not a boy.

Cowboy boots and shorts, girl you're my style! Save a horse and ride this cowboy!

Did you know that you can have cereal at anytime, day or night, morning or noon, for a snack or a meal, ANYTIME!!

Just to be clear tanning beds don't make you orange, bronzers and self-tanners do! And what is so wrong with being tan? It's spring time and maybe some of us want to be tan and not look like a ghost.

To all the girls who get blackout drunk to have fun: How do you know you had such a good time when you can't even remember the night?

My lunch: Chinese leftovers, nachos and a homemade fruit smoothie…I love eating healthy!

So apparently I need to start asking for I.D. when chicks dance all over me since the bouncers let 16 and 17 year old jailbait roam around the club

I haven't been a manwhore for over two years, but now that I'm single again I can feel the dark-side a'pullin at me.

I'm sorry, but your skin looks sticky. Like a really humid lollipop. Please stay away.

Pirate Rants is a cool name. What does State have? Wolf Howls? Lame!

Is it ok or okay?

Needing alcohol to sleep and/or concentrate is an ADDICTION!

When we play punch-buggies, I always want to 'accidentally' punch you in the face. NO PUNCH BACK!

Only in Greenville do you go to subway at 11 a.m. and there's a guy walking though the line with a case of beer on his shoulder.

You are just jealous that my dog has more friends than you do!

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again

It's too damn hot out here for a penguin

Don't worry, man-whore... What goes around comes around. So expect herpes in your future!

I realized that I have a drinking problem when I resorted to flirting with a girl to get a free beer. I am a straight female.

I love how the roided-up guys around the NCC pool feel like they are so massive that they have to walk and move like an 800 pound gorilla.

Jesus hates the Yankees... the Boston-Yankees series are proving it

You're filthy and you're looking gorgeous

The two of us don't want to watch you spoon-feed your 26 year old boyfriend at dinner. He's not 2 years old and we're now nauseated.

Now is not the time of the year to get sensitive. Grow some!

Hello hot boys! Beach road trip anyone?

So what? I undress with the blinds open daily! You know you like it.

To the guy who flipped over his bike in front of mail services on the last day of classes: You are brave. Please go get your head checked.

To the girl who was looking at herself in the windows at Bate: I saw you and all I could think of was, Wow! A modern day Narcissus!

Where were you while we were getting high?... No, seriously

It's not only black socks: NO knee-high socks are attractive!

I just added a person I've never even met as a friend on Facebook, but I ignored my mom's friend request!

We, ECU students, wholeheartedly thank you to those wonderful professors who make a difference in students' lives every day. And to all other professors thanks for a great semester.

To the guy with the flat top hair cut: YOU ARE MY IDOL and completely SEXY!

I see ECU students really take this "pirate" thing to heart. I've never seen so many thieves in one place.

Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels great in the process, but in the end, you've come to realize that you just f***ed yourself.

Okay, so I've been going to ECU for how long now, and I JUST found out about the joker that comes out of the clock by Joyner Library!!! WTF! Boy, do I feel lame!

Thanks for letting me go. Really that's the best thing you could have done.