Pirate Rants

Thank God for baseball season … and baseball pants!

To our slutty friend: We like you because you keep the hot guys coming.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

So ... Did we really pay all that money for guys to "rebuild" the "fountain"? Cause I only see a layered pond. Why don't you turn it on so we can see what we paid for?

Stop hatin' on the Scooter Girl! What if her scooter is her only mode of transportation? How do you feel now, hmm?

To the guy who's life is like a Lil' Wayne song: Does that mean your life sucks?

My boyfriend's moobs are bigger than my boobs.

I wonder if our Brethren Court is going to be like the movie.

This ain't Sea World; this is as real as it gets!

If I were a bus driver, I'd be tempted to shut the door on people ... just for the sheer amusement.

I think Taylor Swift might be retarded. Doesn't she know Romeo and Juliet never got together because they both ended up committing suicide? Also, the girl had a scarlet letter because she was a whore. Fail country music.

My parents have stressed me out so much about school. I once considered ECU my home ... now it's a burden, just like my actual home ... I now have no home.

Overheard at spring break: Cop: "Son, what's your name?" Anonymous: "I ... don't know…"

I'm so glad we had spring break! Now I can see what kind of body all the girls around here are hiding.

I have a really bad sexting habit.

How many else of you realized Sunday that you had work due on Monday?

Did anyone else see the thong laying on the steps of Bate? How do you lose something like that at school?

My own roommate thought I was breaking into our house ... he pulled a knife on me ... a BIG one!

Couldn't we extend spring break another week? I could really use it!

To the guy who peed in the corner of the Tyler's ninth floor stair well: There's this really cool piece of equipment called a urinal and you should go find one.

Drink my beer and smoke my weed, but my good friends is all I need, pass out at three, wake up at 10, go out to eat, then do it again. Man, I love college!

I love how my music teacher just sits down and plays the piano. It's so hot! His long hair, shaggy beard and all! Yum!

To my never-there roomie: Next time you wash your boy's laundry in our apartment, don't drink my vodka ... Thanks!

I always feel like Forrest Gump trying to find a seat on the bus; many seats are open except "they're taken" by an array of purses, backpacks and newspapers.

Having to pay for a DUI sucks!

Why does every girl at ECU just want sex and not a relationship? I'm a good lookin' guy. Got everything goin' for me. Donde es mi chica?

Today, I was in the dining hall eating with a friend when I saw the three guys that I hooked up with last night ... eating together. FML.

To the student who had two different shoes on in the morning walking to class: You must feel like an idiot.

To the guy that almost ran into the girl with pink hair in Bate on the March 17: I love your lip ring and skinny jeans. Let's be friends.

To my English professor: For the love of God, PLEASE WEAR A BRA!

An ECU girl was Collegehumor.com's Cute Girl of the Day on St. Patrick's Day!

You're driving me crazy, seriously. When you figure out what you want, you should tell me what that is so I'm not completely out of the loop. Thanks.

Your haircut is GROSS! Of course everything about you is gross, so not much can be helped there.

Spring break stole my motivation!

Why do females come to the club, stand on the dance floor and not want to dance? You are wasting your time, my time, the DJ's time and every other guy who is potentially thinking of coming to dance with you. Go home and watch Lifetime!

To the sexy girl on the 401 bus: I wish you would follow me to my apartment just one time.

Did you reach your "Irish Potential" on St Patrick's Day?

I don't think that diving should be a sport. It's just showing off how you fall.

To the girl who is in almost all my classes and uses everyone for their work and books: You are the most pathetic person I know and a waste of human flesh.

My friend just ate cereal that had hair on it.

To the curly blonde that was working at Dowdy on Monday: I would buy a bubble sheet every day if I knew you were going to be there.

To the douchebag checking Facebook and listening to music: The third floor is the QUIET floor. We're here to study, not listen to your crappy music.

To the group of people who were driving in a circle honking your horns at the bottom of the Hill: I think ya'll are AWESOME! Can I join next time?

Is anyone else ready to be done with classes but not with college?

I'm not a stalker; I'm just a dedicated fan.

To the short stop on the baseball team: Marry me, please!

Man I love Wednesdays - All the military people are in uniform!

Believe it or not, I am an ECU student that has never had a sip of alcohol.

I could never marry a police officer because they ruin people's days for a living ... Thanks for the ticket buddy!

To the guy in my philosophy class: You don't have to speak at the top of your lungs when answering a question. We ALL hear you.

Thanks to the Chanello's delivery guy who delivered our pizza to the hot tub so we didn't have to get out in the cold!