Pirate Rants

Taking 18 hours two semesters in a row is suicide...Just don't do it. I wish I hadn't.

When will Michael Jackson complete his transformation into the scariest drag queen? I vote after his next arrest.

To the tall girl on my floor in White: Why do you insist on taking a shower beside me EVERY DAY, when there are eight other available showers? I know you can look over into my stall!

To the hot guy on crutches that when asked how you were doing said, "Good, just crip walking." -I want to marry you!

I wanted to apologize to the student employee in Bate for interrupting her texting conversation to buy water Tuesday afternoon. I know it was a huge inconvenience for you since you couldn't even wait to give me my change before you picked your phone up again.

To the person who hasn't gained the freshman 15 yet: Get out and drink or get off the cocaine.

Watch out Copper Beech! I got a power drill for Christmas and will probably be enlarging my closet within the next week or so.

So, I'm sure you thought your singing was great in the bagel line at Wright Place, but I'm sure 99 percent of us were hoping you would just shut up.

Dear ex-roommate: You didn't win anything. I chose to move out because you're a crazy cat lady. Please stop obsessing over it...that was two months ago!

I am sinking into a state of depression knowing I can't live inside the Twilight movie. No one will take me seriously. I NEED to be Edward Cullen's love interest, scampering through the forest. It's just not fair!

So it looks like the NCC Ninja picked up a sidekick. I saw them training by the fountain lake.

I went to the grocery store to stock up on healthy stuff, but came back with fifty bucks worth of junk…so much for losing weight!

Take me back to Beale Street!

We were so excited to hear that our roommate was leaving next semester, but then we found out she was still going to be here. What a drag.

We finally have a good basketball team, guys. Let's support them and get a great basketball tradition here at ECU! Saturday @ 7:00 verses UTEP. BE THERE!

Did anyone else see Chris Johnson interviewed during the Liberty Bowl? As great as he is, I am not sure he ever went to a single class. What did he say?

To the girls in Aycock who use the bathroom and leave without washing your hands: That's disgusting and there is someone in the bathroom who knows you do this.

To the person who doesn't want to talk to their parents but still wants their money: Be grateful that they are paying for you to be here and that you don't have huge student loans to pay later on. Ungrateful little twerp.

Every time I read a mean Pirate Rant about someone, I have an almost deathly fear that it is referring to me.

Single girl searching for single vampire. Preferably one named Edward Cullen.

To the guy who gets an erection in my Sexual Health class: You weren't hiding anything when you held your notebook in front of your pants and ran to the bathroom!

To the guys that still gel their hair, wear cargo shorts, and Hollister or Abercrombie T-shirts: Sorry but it's not middle school anymore and girls DON'T think it's hot!

My dog howls at the singing on the auditions of American Idol.

It's only the first week and I am so ready for this semester to be over.

I never realized what a loser you were until I started dating someone who likes to go out and actually has friends.

The best thing you ever did for me was to break my heart and let me move on.

I can't wait till February when the gym starts clearing out from those who start giving up their new year resolutions.

I'm glad it's the second semester, I just don't really want to do work. Can we just give the professors an I.O.U. for all the work we have to do and call it a day?

Even though you responded "no thanks," I'd ask you out again in a heartbeat. You are gorgeous.

If he is not asking you, then he's just not that into you.

My teacher was so ready to end class that she told us that she would see us Thursday and picked up her things and walked out before half the class could even get out their seats.

I bet you five bucks that Britney's next break down will happen before the semester ends.

You know your XBOX 360 is about to die when it sounds like a chainsaw on crack.

I have a seizure every time I hear my roommate's techno ringtone.

Would someone take the swim test for me please? I'm too lazy.

To the cute nerds in the Tech Support: I want your babies.

As much money as students spend in the city you'd think the city could be a little more helpful.

Fifty people or so walked off my bus Saturday night, completely unaware they were walking through vomit.

Dear Dowdy and UBE: It would be AWESOME if you actually carried the books we need. Then I wouldn't have to spend $20 on express shipping from Amazon.com

Can someone please secretly send my roommate some emails and tell him that he needs to quit playing video game all night long. Tell him to go get a job and quit living off his financial aid refund!

Really ladies? I thought that leggings were supposed to be worn with something else. What is up with leggings as pants and Ugg boots? Not cute.

To the boy who deleted my number: Do you miss me yet?

You spent all your Christmas money on new clothes and outfits but you're still ugly. How does that feel?

Putting a Playboy sticker on your car makes me want to roll down the window and scream degrading things at you.

I've heard one of the RAs on campus has a Jacob's ladder...who is it?

To the girl who lent me her calculator for last semester's calculus exam that I didn't return: Sorry, I tried to find you, but I ended up leaving it at the lost and found in the library. Hope you got it back.

At what point does it cross from "Internet crush" to "creepy guy from the Internet"? Because I REALLY don't want to be that creepy guy.

I think that I accidentally flirt with girls even when I don't mean to. I thought I was just being friendly.

Darn it, why do girls have to be so sexy?

What really gets me considering a girl as potential girlfriend material is if she has a decent brain. Smart girls are hot!

So, I live in Greenville and work in Greenville …why can't other residents treat me like a person seeing as without students the city wouldn't exist.

I only eat the macaroni and cheese with the shaped pasta for kids.

Is it baseball season yet? I can't wait to see those boys in their tight pant uniforms! Yummy!

Thanks Activia for making me regular!