Pirate Rants

Yes I shot you, it was me.

The company that makes all the food on campus makes food for prisons. No wonder the food is sooooo good.

Mark my words, it is impossible to get someone on campus to make your Subway sandwich the way you want it.

Just because a guy is 25, does NOT necessarily make him a man.

Advice: Wear something besides a short blue dress.

Your only friends are your two roommates.

If you wear a hat with a flat brim and you still have the sticker on it, then what can I say, I guess that makes you cooler than me.

My sorority sister's boyfriend is only dating her for her parent's money and the power her parents have in Greenville. How sad is that?

Two supervisors at the student patrol unit just got fired for making a private Facebook group. Should that be allowed?

I thought that designated bus stops meant they always stop at those stops ... apparently the Curry Court bus drivers don't understand that.

I wonder if the football players enjoy me honking at them while they are practicing, as much as I do!

A sad feeling comes over me when I get to the end of the Pirate Rants. ...

I'm trying desperately to avoid talking about politics, which makes this election paper due in English all the more annoying.

Clement girls: You need to take your clothes out of the dryer. My friend and I will steal your bra. We've done it before.

Reading Pirate Rants is better than reading PostSecrets.

I don't know you that well, so I surely don't want to know about your brother and his powder. We work together! Don't you have common sense?

My dog ate some wild mushrooms in the backyard and was tripping balls all day. Poor pup.

I loathe the student bus drivers. Is it so hard to show up for your job? If I have to get off of a bus one more time because it doesn't have a designated bus driver, I will probably punch one in the face.

To the annoying girl on the North Campus bus who always complains about her roommates: Please, SHUT UP.

The fact that I already put together my Halloween costume is ridiculous. Only at ECU...

Dear roommates: It is not necessary to write complaints on the dry erase board. If you need to tell me something, walk five steps to my room and tell me.

When I was a kid I liked to play with dolls. Now that I'm grown up I like to play with people.

Emotions make me laugh. So, don't cry 'cause I'll laugh in yo' face.

Just ask me out already!

I want my movies back!

Your thinly veiled pick-up lines are annoying. Either ask me out or leave me alone.

I hate sitting on a seat when it's still warm from the person before.

Are there any Will Hoge fans in this town other than me?

For those students who say, "I'm a Republican because everyone can't be on welfare," FINANCIAL AID is a form of welfare, you morons!

Two hours of McDreamy ... Thank God "Grey's" is back!!

To the girl in 205: I really like you.

The NCC ninja wants you to wear a condom.

The remains of our love child fell out of me while I was walking to class.

DON'T TAZE ME, BRO!

Someone took a crap in the showers.

Can we get it passed that college should not start 'til noon?

Oct. 1 is approaching. Isn't it time to change the late fee date again?

I am seriously attracted to Greg, the new meteorologist on WITN.

Grow up already to all the immature people who think it is cool to break your glass beer bottles in the parking lot of apartment complexes. I love trying to park my car maneuvering through the broken glass without getting a flat tire!

I don't think you taking me to a party and drinking to excess every weekend constitutes a "date."

Ask me out already, I promise I will say yes.

Destination 360: Thanks for letting the other people who work with you skip in line. I was late to class.

Life is so much better without you.

Between texting and Facebook, I don't ever have to have a real conversation!

I would love to see ECU offer a class to the guys titled "DATING 101: What not to do." Between video games, drinking and immaturity, I think I will be single for a long time.

To the girl in my psych class who always has her dance clothes on ... I think you're beautiful.

I was sober and that song STILL tripped me out.

We DID hit it off the other night, it wasn't just the alcohol. ... so ask for my number and call me sometime!

I want to switch my major to physics. ... or economics ... or anything not involving engineering.

Happy Birthday Allyssa!

To the guy who does crossword puzzles in pen: Let's meet.

I'm sick of being stuck in a stalemate with you.

To girls who have facial hair: Do something about it. If I can see it, you can see it.

Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?

Come to the Swash Improv show this Friday in Mendenhall 244. It's at 8 p.m. and best of all, it's free! Woooooooo!

If I find out you have a boyfriend, my week will be ruined!

Changing the language on my Facebook page to Pirate English was the best decision I've ever made, other than applying to ECU, of course.

It's bad to be dating someone and still feel like you're single. ... the thing is, we have been together six years.

I graduated in '06 but my high school Web site still says I'm on the archery team.

We had to give up trays to save water. Now we're using plastic forks and Styrofoam plates. I really don't get it. Glad we went green!

To the blonde and brunette I saw at Panera today: Both of you were amazingly beautiful. Sorry for staring.

WE STILL LOVE SKIP! AND YOUR DADDY, TOO!

I'll get you and your little doggie, too.

Clay Aiken finally realized he is GAY.

How many people had a hurricane party and we didn't even suffer a hurricane?

ECU should sell an anthology of Pirate Rants instead of trying to solicit money from alumni.

It must be nice to be rich and not work. ...

College will be over before you know it and you will regret so much of it.