Pirate Rants

So, how does it feel to be the "other woman"? Stop playin ya self and get your own man trick!

If loving Star Wars makes me a nerd then I'm going to be a nerd until the day I die, baby.

I agree with one of the secrets from the secret speaker article. My Star Wars girlfriend is bangin'.

I think that if I had a time machine, I would introduce Elvis to some Simple Plan albums before recording his first record. Afterwards I would say, "These are the horrible children of your life's work." Until technology prevails, I can merely hate and loathe the animal screams that are of the band Simple Plan.

Middle Class for BARACK OBAMA! Rich people, get ready to pay them TAXES!!!

McDonald's didn't even hire me...

I do have a health problem…it's called: I'm HUGE.

Maybe if you don't want to get slammed, you shouldn't storm the field. Put yourself on the other side of the law...for once.

I guess those cops feel like real men now, beating up on unarmed students.

Dear Friend: You got a dog so your cat has to stay with friends who don't want it and now you're talking about giving away the cat. You never play with your dog, only complain about it bothering you while you're playing your videogame. You're being very selfish and you never should have any animals. Ever.

Just because you throw game winning touchdowns and all of Greenville loves you, doesn't mean I still do...please leave me alone.

To the religious yellers: Thank you so much for spreading God's love. I hope that one day, I too can share the love of Jesus and call people harlots. It's reassuring to know that EVERYONE here is going to hell. At least we'll have friends!

So let me get this straight. Because someone in Financial Aid messed up, I go from getting a $300 refund check to owing the school $620. Is there a way to fire HR and Financial Aid? HR for hiring these people and Financial Aid for being incompetent?

I have yet to figure out why so many people at ECU end up cheating. Is it really so hard to just break up with someone before you plunge yourself waist-high into the next?

To the person who thinks Obama is Muslim: I'm a McCain supporter, and I still don't like what you said. Learn the truth about the candidates, darn it, and quit making us conservatives look bad!

I hate political Pirate Rants!

To the person wondering about me wetting the bed to get rid of my roommate: We don't sleep together, I just have top bunk.

What's the deal with everybody wanting to pee on something? Listening to too much R. Kelly I guess...

I love how people at ECU show off their individuality. They all get the exact same giraffe print bags, but with different color straps.

If Obama were white, I wonder what people would think of him then...

I've been putting in Pirate Rants for three years, and not one has made it yet! Do you guys just not like me?

When the bus is full and people are standing up, why are there more guys sitting and more girls standing? What happened to people's manners? You are in the south now, so where did all the southern gentlemen go?

My roomie sounds like Darth Vader when she sleeps.

I saw Safe Ride run a red light.

Why do people keep the tags and stickers on their hats? Do they really think it looks cool or does everyone agree with me and think they all look like complete idiots?

Greenville P.D. used "unnecessary force?" Shocker...

It's cool to get high. It's not cool to get high and eat up all your baby's cereal.

I would give anything to be Michael Phelps' Speedo.

We used to hook up in high school and now you can't even say "hi" to me....sketch.

No one should ever consider going to Still Life again. They ripped me off and made me pay $20 to get in. What the heck?

I think the ECU buses should be called the Pirate Ships!

To the person who turned my wallet into Belk...THANK YOU!

If John McCain is elected I'm moving to France.

Stop trying to buy me drinks when I'm crying at the club...I'm already drunk. Someone just stepped on my foot!

I have to open graves to find girls to fall in love with.

Shenanigans!

At least there aren't rumors about me that I sleep with my brother.

Hooking up with all of the freshman girls in our dorm doesn't make you cool...It just makes you a bigger jerk.

I want to say it one more time, I'm sorry. This goes to the girl I accidentally burned while waiting for the bus...I'm so sorry.

Has anyone else been wondering what happened to the cute blonde guy with dreadlocks?

Hey art foundation major: You're drawing cubes for a reason. If it's too hard, then go to App.

Why is the school building another fountain instead of hiring a more competent Financial Aid staff?

To the cute freshman outside the art building: Why do you have to have braces?