Pirate Rants

"Does everyone wait 20 minutes to talk to people at the Financial Aid office?" What are you, new? Some of us wait HOURS. Sounds like you were lucky.

The other day, some random guy told me he would drink my bath water ... Wow! WTF?

Paying millions for the first pics of the Brangelina twins, the feds bailing out Freddie and Fannie, and Budweiser selling out ... how much more screwed up can we be?

Was it really necessary to ask a question about every single problem on the practice test? I thought that's why there was a book and office hours.

Booty dancing and screaming in the headlights of a car at 5 a.m. is usually considered rude. I hope you enjoy it when I get drunk and throw up outside your door.

I don't think it is possible to hate physics more than I do right now.

I have never met someone who watches quite as much TV as you do.

Just because a girl has short shorts or a low cut top on doesn't mean she automatically wants to go home with you. Maybe we're hot or we want to look cute to go out with our friends ... GEEZ!

I wish I had superpowers like the X-Men.

I'll shave my head if this gets in.

Is it bad that I'm ready for school to start back just so I can get the refund check from financial aid?

Jesse Helms was the man!

I love how you watch TV shows that we watched when we were 10, but you're 10 years older than us.

You thought my insecurities were hot; now whenever I start to like a guy again, they all come out, and it is not hot.

If a person vehemently condemns you simply because of what you wear, he is a false prophet. "...the Lord looketh on the heart" (I Samuel 16:7).

I was hanging out at my friend's house the other day, snooping through his stuff, when I found Magnum condoms in his dresser drawer ... now I can't look at him the same way!

How is it that my Business & Professional Communications teacher says 'liberry' and not library? Real professional...

To Mulder & Scully: please don't taint Austin; I have class in there! Thanks.

Attention professors: when the class average of an exam is 44, then you are obviously doing something wrong!

You know it's not a good sign when the cheese biscuit lady recognizes you.

The Incredible Hulk is awesome!

To Mulder: I am not in Greenville right now, but I will be back in August.

To the person who made the comment about education majors: No we won't get paid enough to teach scum like you!

I don't check the online version of TEC very often, so maybe I've missed it, but is it possible for y'all to conduct a poll that doesn't have anything to do with sports? Really, I don't care about the ECU sports program.

I hate it when incoming freshmen at orientation come into the library and talk really loudly. Didn't they teach them in high school that libraries are supposed to be quiet places?

Freshman be warned: If you're not careful, you'll catch more than the Freshman 15.

Today, in a random act of kindness, a guy paid for a woman's transcripts. We should all practice random acts of kindness ... you get it back in dividends.

I was walking home on 5th Street, and I didn't think there was anyone behind me, so I picked the king of all wedgies; then I look behind me to see a guy running towards me. I'm sorry you had to see that.

Take back the English language! Fight against political correctness!

Twice now, the pizza they sell at Wright has given me a sore tummy. Is that supposed to happen?

The only thing I dislike out of my years at ECU so far is the administration! It's sad that I have to get my parents to call the school, even though I'm 21, just because I never get taken seriously.

I just realized what an MRI actually is ... and I have to get one ... and I'm claustrophobic. HELP!

GO GREEK OR GO HOME!

I think I'm going to file for bankruptcy. Credit cards have destroyed me.

What color does a Smurf turn if you choke it? My guess is purple.

To the guy who sat next to me for our physics test: I was trying to be helpful by telling you not to bubble in your name, but instead of saying anything, you ignored me. You are a jerk.

Summer school is wearing me out!