Pirate Rants

I can't believe that first Summer Session is going to be over next week!

Where are all the summer issues? Once a week really isn't enough.

Is it true that Gabe Blair has accepted a basketball scholarship to transfer to Wichita State University?

I'm glad first summer session is over. I don't want second summer session to begin.

Not having a TV for the summer really sucks.

This weather's hot enough to make the devil sigh.

To any interested person: I'll be your Mulder if you'll be my Scully.

Surely someone besides me needs some stress-relieving sex?

Rest in peace, Tim Russert.

That was sure a lot of smoke!

You complain about my second-hand smoke and half of Eastern North Carolina is covered in smoke from a fire. Oh, and I am sure that the environmentalists think it is a human's fault that lightning struck the ground and caused a forest fire!

I don't care if you're going to jail, you should have paid your taxes. I will not pay to bail you out of it, you idiot!

Only in this country can someone with no experience get nominated to a national party-- no wonder everyone hates the government. Oh, and Democrats were elected to Congress two years ago, and then the economy went to crap. I wonder why?!

I think the majority of my so-called friends are self-centered, egotistical jerks! When I'm sick, you guys don't even care. THANKS A LOT!

I can't stay in Greenville ... I feel like this place is suffocating me.

HBO should play more movies. I can only stand watching The Producers and Braveheart twice before I can't stand it anymore.

You can't make it to class because it's too hot? Seriously?!?!

Stop setting your alarm earlier than when you actually get up. I get paranoid you won't get up in time, and I can't sleep after it goes off.

I turned in a zip drive that I found in the computer lab last semester. I wonder if anyone ever picked it up.

I MISS BSU! Is one meeting too much to ask for this summer?

I'm really close to giving up on dating because I can't meet a guy who is worth it. I just want someone who will talk to me, love me and caress me down when I ask them to.

Just when you start to make decent money at your job, everything else becomes ridiculously expensive.

Does anyone else think they should leave jars of Vaseline on top of gas pumps?

My girlfriend probably thinks I have E.D., when in actuality I'm just not that sexually attracted to her.

I think it's very clever and nifty how you always seem to hit the right spot with those Pirate Rants. Maybe I should try it...

I think I've had the hottest string of history teachers ever.

I can't believe this. You beg me for rants and don't even choose any I try to put in. Tisk, tisk.

If McCain wins, he should give every American a six pack of Coors Light.

One of the security guards helped me the other day in the library. He is tan and fine.

If you can't contribute something worthwhile to the conversation, stop talking to us!

Everything was great until I came home for the summer.

DONT FEED THE TROLL!

It's just a body; let me get some.

I'm hoping that higher gas prices will be a good thing. Maybe the U.S. population will get up off their couches and actually start walking or riding their bikes around. Lower fuel emissions and skinnier people all in one fell swoop!

This heat is ridiculous. What's the point of me getting ready in the morning if by the time I get to work or class, I'm all sweaty and red-faced?

I have a crush on the guy who works in the town library. I wish I knew his name at least.

It's heat like this that makes me wish I lived in Alaska.

Everybody's thinking it, but I'm just saying it. This just in: Barack Obama smokes cigarettes. Great, let's all vote for the candidate that will die of lung cancer and make American teenagers want to smoke. Live above the influence, not under it.

I thought that you guys wanted a lot of rants and mine still don't get published.

Is it wrong to want to punch your coworkers in the face?

I really wish I could see my friends more! I thought that's what summer was about!

I wish my parents would pay for my stuff just one semester. Everyone else has a summer or semester paid for, why do I have to work two jobs?

I just watched a kitten die on the side of the road. Take care of your animals! If you don't want it anymore, call the shelter; they'll come to you. You're in college for God's sake; be responsible! These animals depend on you, and it is one of you who is to blame for that kitten dying.

To my sociology professor: "I am just saying" I think its time for you to leave.

To the girl in the lobby Wednesday night: We will be as loud as we want, so shut up.

It's really sad that my English professor has studied MLA format for years and still does not know how to use it.

Will the Minges bus drivers please stop playing awful country music?

I got a D in Courtship and Marriage, but my friends always ask for relationship advice.

The only reason I attempt to pass my classes is so I can continue to use the ECU Rec Center.

Income tax refunds: good! Paying for summer school: bad!