Pirate Rants

I confused Ex-Lax for Tylenol PM, and now I've got a whole new set of problems.

To all the tolerant liberals out there, if someone wants to come on campus and preach about their beliefs whether they are Christian, Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist, they have every right to. And you have every freedom to walk somewhere else or not listen.

The one thing I learned this past weekend is that BBQ doesn't taste as good coming up as it does going down.

Geology shouldn't even be a class. It sucks.

I wish I lived in the medieval era just so my boobs could touch my chin every day, and it would be okay.

Is it bad that I don't ever remember what I did over the weekend?

Why are SGA elections based on popularity instead of competence?

I'm sure this won't make it in, but I think it's crappy that our school newspaper only ran one issue last week. Why is that?

I don't think eating special brownies for breakfast before going to the gym was such a good idea.

I hate all the gays here, and I'm gay myself.

Great job, "Above the Influence" commercials, for letting kids everywhere know that "getting drugs is easy as opening your medicine cabinet."

Gas for the ride to Columbia: $100, Hotel for two nights: $237, Ticket to the Carolina Cup: $35, Going to the bar only to find that everyone there is from ECU and you already know them: PRICELESS.

Instructors who don't grade assignments on time suck! In one class, we have turned in four assignments since Feb. 18 and still we have no grades! WTF?!

I know I probably shouldn't, but I find my professors' squirting Germ-X into his hands every time someone hands in a test, rather insulting.

Why did you put your laundry in my dryer when my clothes only had five minutes left in the washer? That was just rude.

If you think your neighbors are loud at 2 a.m., try living next door to a fraternity house.

There is only one word to describe Mo'nique: disgusting and fat ... and stupid. Well, maybe there's more than one.

Someone needs to put slip grip on the metal that is attached to the front of the stairs around campus, so on a rainy day I don't bust my BUTT in front of other people who point and laugh as if it never happened. BTW … sorry about your dog.

Let's go Pirates!!! Beat that Pack!!!!!

What if ECU sports teams gave players play time based on their grades rather than their athletic ability? Universities are supposed to be educational institutions, after all ...

To the person complaining about the girl singing Britney Spears in front of 360, you are right, that was one of the most horrendous things I have ever heard in my life, right next to "The Fisad."

Mandy Moore is my soul mate/future wife ... she just doesn't know it yet!

Does it bother anyone else to see all the UNC gear on campus when they try so hard to hold our university back?

I made a drastic gamble based on my intuition and I was right. I am invincible!

Saddam paid for three of your liberal congressmen to fly to Iraq. I told you the left was just short of terrorists.

I like how the students got shafted for the 101st ECU Birthday celebration with pathetic, inch-long subs and some no-name band while the faculty was presented with a jazz quartet and all-you-can-eat buffet. I thought we were the ones paying, not the ones getting paid.

I really hate the man who killed my aunt, who was trying to help him. He deserves to suffer.

To the girl in the Greene Hall elevator: I'm sorry I dropped a case of water on your foot.

Do you ever have dream affairs with people you work with?

Can we start a bus route that runs to Cook Out?

I party in adult diapers because I wet the bed when I'm drunk.

My roommate farts all the time ... and I like it. A lot.

I saw a red squirrel the other day. It was awesome!

In the last five days I have worked 40 hours, written three essays, written one paper, studied for three tests and slept 11 hours. Is the rest of my college experience going to be like this?

For all of the women who are looking for good, clean, upstanding gentlemen: we're there, you're just not looking hard enough.

I wish it was summer already, so I can fry on the beach and make myself look like a leather football.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Is it bad that I am at my internship right now, but am reading the Pirate Rants online?

Well, if somebody from Campus Towers hasn't seen you undress before, they will now.

I never, ever understood why some people eat their boogers. They're just dust and phlegm. They can't possibly taste good. Is it so hard to just wipe it off somewhere?

I came to college to have fun and most importantly, get an education. I didn't sign up to listen to annoying girls scream and yell about their miserable lives at three in the morning.

It really, really bothers me when people try to use the Macs in the computer labs and have no idea how.

Is it bad that when I looked up and saw the flower petals on the ground in front of the Austin building, I looked up to see if it was snowing?

I thought New Orleans was in Seattle.

There should be a pregnancy test made especially for college students that shows a sad face when you're pregnant.

The only reason I go to sociology class is to read the Pirate Rants.

My mood goes sour when there is no new TEC.

The rant about the guy and girl making out and the girl stopping to put on a hair tie should be the rant of the year.

I'm never parking at a meter on campus again!

I think of tons of awesome Pirate Rants daily, but I'm convinced that the guy who picks them knows who I am and judges me.

Abstinent people are just impressionable, brainwashed kids who, through years of BS from their parents, were taught to ignore their human nature of wanting sex.

To the guy walking through the crosswalk the other night, I'm sorry I almost hit you with my car. I promise I didn't see you.