Free range kids

Protecting our kids from ever gaining independence

By: Lara Oliver

Posted: 4/15/08

When I was 10 years old, I didn't own a cell phone. I didn't use anti-bacterial soap, my parents usually weren't sure where I was until dinner time, and I didn't have a babysitter watching over me - that's what my older sister was for. There was no tracking device in my backpack, my clothes or on my bike. I was frequently at the pool with only my friends to chaperone me, and my childhood dog is now considered "highly dangerous" around children.

Amazingly, I made it out alive.

If I was being raised now, I'm sure my parents would've been locked up by the neighbors and had child services called on my family. "She cooks by herself in the kitchen! She could've burnt the kitchen down or choked on her food! Lock up her mother!" echoes in my head, reminiscent of Helen Lovejoy on "The Simpsons."

Which is why I was so relieved to hear the story of Lenore Skenazy. Skenazy's nine-year-old son had been begging her to let him figure out his way home, and, after several weeks, she relented. With only $20, a Metrocard and some quarters, Skenazy dropped her son off at Bloomingdale's and, get this, he made it home alive. He was even ecstatic over the amount of independence she allotted to him. Her story made national news, even snagging her an appearance on morning talk shows to discuss her "crazy" decision. She has now since created a blog purely for sharing stories on the new style of "hyper parenting" that's become the norm in our society called Free Range Kids.

Skenazy's story was like a breath of fresh air to me. After desperately trying to convince the parents of children I babysit how dangerous it is to use anti-bacterial products on their children, seeing kids barely older than seven answer their phones in grocery stores and watching the number of children I see on bikes dwindle down to two in the neighborhood, I had almost given up hope on the defendants' style of parenting I grew up with.

Sadly, I know it was my generation that started this whole mess of implanted chips, anti-bacterial everything and Nancy Grace-style exploitation pieces on the news about all the different types of people who want to kidnap our children. I vividly remember being fingerprinted for "tracking cards" in my fourth grade class, complete with little photographs with our names that we could carry around in our (non-existent) wallets. Even at 10 years old, I couldn't help but think the only good these ID's could offer would be to identify our dead bodies. We were also the generation of children whose parents had non-stop news feeding to them. Networks like CNN, MSNBC and Fox News first came to fruition during my childhood and so did the practice of learning about every single abducted child in the entire country 24/7.

While sad and horrible, child abductions are not nearly as rampant as most news channels would have you believe. "Nancy Grace," "To Catch a Predator," and "20/20" want us to think that random strangers are eye-balling all our kids, watching out for the moment Mom (or her cell phone) is gone. Yet statistics show that children are more likely to be abducted or abused by a family member than by a stranger.

I can't help but think that the only outcome of all the over-coddling parenting I see on a daily basis will just be the increasing number of young adults still living with (or living off of) their parents. When you're planting a garden, you "harden off" seedlings by shaking them around, introducing them to uncomfortable temperatures and watering them less so they'll grow stronger and live longer. The same basic theory can be applied to kids. If we don't "harden off" today's generation of kids, what reason will they have to want to move on without Mom and Dad?

This writer can be contacted at opinion@theeastcarolinian.com