Pirate Rants

By: Pirate Nation

Posted: 7/9/08

Since WHEN are RECEPTIONISTS qualified to answer Financial Aid questions?!

The ground is not an ashtray. Smokers need to realize that they can't litter the entire campus with their nasty cigarette butts!

Mr. Right is the one who makes you forget about Prince Charming.

I miss you so much and I don't know how to tell you.

Drink apple juice; O.J. kills.

If people thought Hillary Clinton was an egomaniac, wait till Michelle Obama gets in the White House.

Amen! Debbie Downer and Negative Nancy have no place in my life at any time!

To the person who needs some stress-relieving sex: call me.

To the skater boy with the dreadlocks: damn, you are hot!!

Is it weird that I would have the "Tears For Fears" lead singer's baby just because of the way he sings?

If there's grass on the field, play ball.

I have honestly come to the conclusion that everyone in this town is hooking up with everyone else.

Is it wrong that I walk with freshmen at orientation when I'm not exactly a freshman?

What are the characteristics of a false prophet? Are they prevalent now? Yes. Find out more in II Peter, Chapter 2.

To the person who said they would be my Scully: thank you! Look for the green bag in Bate and you'll find your Mulder attached.

Hi. I could totally be that lesbian lover you need.

I think, therefore I'm conservative.

I just love it when I'm walking out of class in Brewster and I get bombarded by cigarette smoke. Why do people refuse to follow the no-smoking within 25-feet of a building rule?

I cannot wait for The Dark Knight!

Financial aid: where students go to receive no aid from the employees.

Does anyone know who that cute guy is that sends out all the still life invites on Facebook?

Is it bad that I send out mass texts to girls in my phone just to see who is available that night?

So, I totally just FACEBOOKED the freshmen coming in ... just to get them before they become part of that 1 out of 3 STD statistic.

To the tall blonde who dances in all the clubs: you're not that HOT.

Are those Chi Phi guys who threw the party gonna throw one this year? I'm 21 now so I will definitely come.

Does everyone wait 20 minutes to talk to people at the Financial Aid office?

To the person who wrote the rant about the hot blonde in Parking & Transportation: which one? I've seen a couple of hot ones in the office.

I'll stop by at 2:43 a.m.

When work feels overwhelming, remember that you're going to die someday.

I'm glad you've started to recognize your raging, long-term, absurdly obvious alcoholism.

I've come up with some great ideas on how to make you a better person.

Thanks for thinking of me after 8 beers, 9 shots and getting kicked out of the bar.

I'm gonna make this as plain and obvious as possible: no, I don't want to go to lunch with you.

I just don't understand the music majors. They all run around like they have the hardest major. All they do is play music and write whole notes down all day, while I'm over here trying to finish two papers before my three-hour lab.

It sucks having friends who are only there for you when it is convenient for them.

Why do we have vocabulary quizzes? We are in college.

Why do all the dads on reality television shows cry?

Obama is my homeboy.

Education majors are funny for two reasons: first of all, they think the classes they are taking are hard, and, secondly, they will be making $20,000 for the rest of their lives. Congrats!

What color does a Smurf turn if you choke it?

Hear the wrath of the bell on my bike! It's intense!

Showering really does take too much energy.

I just love the East Carolinian!