2008 Woodie Awards
One life to live
Sometimes it is about you
Andrea Robertson
Issue date: 5/21/08 Section: Opinion
Most of us have been told at least once that life is short and we need to learn to enjoy it. With that being the case, why do so many of us find ourselves living our lives to make others happy?
It seems to me that too many of us spend the majority of our lives trying to please others. From day one, we search for praise and approval in the eyes of others. We begin school with our parents' hopes of us doing well, which we then adopt as our own hopes. As we grow older, our parents may try to get us into sports or create some incredible dream of becoming doctors, and eventually we think that those dreams have always been our own.
Not only do we suffer from the expectations of our parents, but upon entering school and other social circles, we are forced to enter the realm of what our friends expect from us. Our friends tell us how to dress, how to act and who to date. Many of us are fearful of losing our friends if we date a "loser" or if we want to be friends with someone who does not fit in with our clique. As we do with our parents' expectations, we adopt those expectations, and we use them to make sure our other friends stay in line.
It takes years before we figure out that the expectations we thought were our own probably spawned from the expectations of others. Usually one finds him or herself wrapped in a world of dissatisfaction in the middle of their adult life, wondering where they went wrong. Why is this career so unfulfilling? Why am I so concerned with making other people happy? Where is my happiness?
Unfortunately, at this stage in our lives, many of us have yet to realize that we are being too concerned with the happiness and expectations of others. We are completely forgetting about what we want for ourselves. Ask yourself, "If I continue to live my life this way, where do I see myself in ten years?" More importantly, "Do I like the person I am seeing?"
We need to stop trying to live up to what others expect of us and take our lives into our own hands. If someone is going to reject you for wanting to be happy, doesn't that mean that they weren't too concerned about you from the beginning?
A parent's love should be unconditional. They should love you no matter what you do and only hope that you will find happiness. A true friend will love you unconditionally also.
Our lives are way too short to wake up ten years from now and realize that we have done nothing for ourselves. In order to find true happiness, we must consider our own feelings; we must live our own lives. No one can control you, unless you allow it, just as you cannot control anyone else. Find happiness in yourself; don't search for happiness in the approval of others … especially if their approval is won by abiding in their expectations.
This writer can be contacted at opinion@theeastcarolinian.com
It seems to me that too many of us spend the majority of our lives trying to please others. From day one, we search for praise and approval in the eyes of others. We begin school with our parents' hopes of us doing well, which we then adopt as our own hopes. As we grow older, our parents may try to get us into sports or create some incredible dream of becoming doctors, and eventually we think that those dreams have always been our own.
Not only do we suffer from the expectations of our parents, but upon entering school and other social circles, we are forced to enter the realm of what our friends expect from us. Our friends tell us how to dress, how to act and who to date. Many of us are fearful of losing our friends if we date a "loser" or if we want to be friends with someone who does not fit in with our clique. As we do with our parents' expectations, we adopt those expectations, and we use them to make sure our other friends stay in line.
It takes years before we figure out that the expectations we thought were our own probably spawned from the expectations of others. Usually one finds him or herself wrapped in a world of dissatisfaction in the middle of their adult life, wondering where they went wrong. Why is this career so unfulfilling? Why am I so concerned with making other people happy? Where is my happiness?
Unfortunately, at this stage in our lives, many of us have yet to realize that we are being too concerned with the happiness and expectations of others. We are completely forgetting about what we want for ourselves. Ask yourself, "If I continue to live my life this way, where do I see myself in ten years?" More importantly, "Do I like the person I am seeing?"
We need to stop trying to live up to what others expect of us and take our lives into our own hands. If someone is going to reject you for wanting to be happy, doesn't that mean that they weren't too concerned about you from the beginning?
A parent's love should be unconditional. They should love you no matter what you do and only hope that you will find happiness. A true friend will love you unconditionally also.
Our lives are way too short to wake up ten years from now and realize that we have done nothing for ourselves. In order to find true happiness, we must consider our own feelings; we must live our own lives. No one can control you, unless you allow it, just as you cannot control anyone else. Find happiness in yourself; don't search for happiness in the approval of others … especially if their approval is won by abiding in their expectations.
This writer can be contacted at opinion@theeastcarolinian.com
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