2008 Woodie Awards
Pirate Rants
Pirate Nation
Issue date: 5/21/08 Section: Opinion
I want to know why people continue to go near Jarvis street after so many armed robberies, and why that area is not swarmed with police 24/7.
Never call ECU Police to investigate a creepy, out of place box. They come and rip the top off of it, no matter what it might be. I think I would scrutinize it a little more carefully before I put myself and everyone in the building at risk, don't you? There are some crazy folks in the world.
Where are all the original, beautiful and intelligent girls? All of these cookie cutter chicks are getting old (i.e. huge sun glasses, fake blonde hair, unnatural tans, superficial attitude, ditzy, etc.)
To the girl who named her cat Penny Lane, but misspelled Beatles, may you smoke a turd in purgatory for blaspheming the Fab Four.
To the girl in Jarvis who cuts herself: I'm glad they moved you to another dorm because now I don't have to hear about you and your best friend that you have a crush on, but he doesn't feel the same about your problems.
The position you rank on someone's speed-dial means everything.
Please say there are new editions of The East Carolinian over the summer!
Do you know what it feels like loving someone who's in a rush to throw you away?
To the girl who was in my chemistry final: I'm sorry about whatever type of accident you were involved in. It looked like it hurt.
I'm a white girl with blonde hair. And yes, I have a weave.
So, I will admit I like it when you wear the shirt you wore when we first met.
Ex-girlfriends are ex-girlfriends for a reason.
Sometimes I think boys train their dogs to get girls.
I get shushed every time I go to the library.
I don't care how important you think you are ... DON'T walk the wrong direction around the track. Just don't do it.
I'm addicted to garden salsa sun chips!
Never call ECU Police to investigate a creepy, out of place box. They come and rip the top off of it, no matter what it might be. I think I would scrutinize it a little more carefully before I put myself and everyone in the building at risk, don't you? There are some crazy folks in the world.
Where are all the original, beautiful and intelligent girls? All of these cookie cutter chicks are getting old (i.e. huge sun glasses, fake blonde hair, unnatural tans, superficial attitude, ditzy, etc.)
To the girl who named her cat Penny Lane, but misspelled Beatles, may you smoke a turd in purgatory for blaspheming the Fab Four.
To the girl in Jarvis who cuts herself: I'm glad they moved you to another dorm because now I don't have to hear about you and your best friend that you have a crush on, but he doesn't feel the same about your problems.
The position you rank on someone's speed-dial means everything.
Please say there are new editions of The East Carolinian over the summer!
Do you know what it feels like loving someone who's in a rush to throw you away?
To the girl who was in my chemistry final: I'm sorry about whatever type of accident you were involved in. It looked like it hurt.
I'm a white girl with blonde hair. And yes, I have a weave.
So, I will admit I like it when you wear the shirt you wore when we first met.
Ex-girlfriends are ex-girlfriends for a reason.
Sometimes I think boys train their dogs to get girls.
I get shushed every time I go to the library.
I don't care how important you think you are ... DON'T walk the wrong direction around the track. Just don't do it.
I'm addicted to garden salsa sun chips!
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Biker
posted 5/21/08 @ 10:44 PM EST
"If you are not healthy enough to keep up with campus traffic on your bike - and stay off the sidewalks - get off your bike and WALK."
You'd have to be Lance Armstrong to keep up with all the rednecks and daddys' girl who barrel down Founders Drive like they're on 264. (Continued…)
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