2008 Woodie Awards
Pirate Rants
Pirate Nation
Issue date: 7/9/08 Section: Opinion
To the tall blonde who dances in all the clubs: you're not that HOT.
Are those Chi Phi guys who threw the party gonna throw one this year? I'm 21 now so I will definitely come.
Does everyone wait 20 minutes to talk to people at the Financial Aid office?
To the person who wrote the rant about the hot blonde in Parking & Transportation: which one? I've seen a couple of hot ones in the office.
I'll stop by at 2:43 a.m.
When work feels overwhelming, remember that you're going to die someday.
I'm glad you've started to recognize your raging, long-term, absurdly obvious alcoholism.
I've come up with some great ideas on how to make you a better person.
Thanks for thinking of me after 8 beers, 9 shots and getting kicked out of the bar.
I'm gonna make this as plain and obvious as possible: no, I don't want to go to lunch with you.
I just don't understand the music majors. They all run around like they have the hardest major. All they do is play music and write whole notes down all day, while I'm over here trying to finish two papers before my three-hour lab.
It sucks having friends who are only there for you when it is convenient for them.
Why do we have vocabulary quizzes? We are in college.
Why do all the dads on reality television shows cry?
Obama is my homeboy.
Education majors are funny for two reasons: first of all, they think the classes they are taking are hard, and, secondly, they will be making $20,000 for the rest of their lives. Congrats!
What color does a Smurf turn if you choke it?
Hear the wrath of the bell on my bike! It's intense!
Showering really does take too much energy.
I just love the East Carolinian!
Are those Chi Phi guys who threw the party gonna throw one this year? I'm 21 now so I will definitely come.
Does everyone wait 20 minutes to talk to people at the Financial Aid office?
To the person who wrote the rant about the hot blonde in Parking & Transportation: which one? I've seen a couple of hot ones in the office.
I'll stop by at 2:43 a.m.
When work feels overwhelming, remember that you're going to die someday.
I'm glad you've started to recognize your raging, long-term, absurdly obvious alcoholism.
I've come up with some great ideas on how to make you a better person.
Thanks for thinking of me after 8 beers, 9 shots and getting kicked out of the bar.
I'm gonna make this as plain and obvious as possible: no, I don't want to go to lunch with you.
I just don't understand the music majors. They all run around like they have the hardest major. All they do is play music and write whole notes down all day, while I'm over here trying to finish two papers before my three-hour lab.
It sucks having friends who are only there for you when it is convenient for them.
Why do we have vocabulary quizzes? We are in college.
Why do all the dads on reality television shows cry?
Obama is my homeboy.
Education majors are funny for two reasons: first of all, they think the classes they are taking are hard, and, secondly, they will be making $20,000 for the rest of their lives. Congrats!
What color does a Smurf turn if you choke it?
Hear the wrath of the bell on my bike! It's intense!
Showering really does take too much energy.
I just love the East Carolinian!
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 14
Sammi
posted 7/09/08 @ 12:19 AM EST
Not quite $20,000... Try $45-50,000... more with masters or phd. I love how ignorant you are. At least they'll be enjoying what they are doing.
Maria
posted 7/09/08 @ 3:12 AM EST
I'm a follower who doesn't think for myself, therefore I'm a conservative.
Westbrook
posted 7/09/08 @ 1:52 PM EST
Sheep = Liberal ... It's different than the norm therefore it must be cool...
Lisa
posted 7/09/08 @ 2:59 PM EST
for all of the liberals....don't be so open minded that your brains fall out!
Wicked
posted 7/10/08 @ 8:53 AM EST
"Since WHEN are RECEPTIONISTS qualified to answer Financial Aid questions?!"
Probably since you came in to their office crying your eyeballs out because you were not getting the answers you needed and they were just trying to help! You should be happy someone was trying to help. (Continued…)
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