2008 Woodie Awards
If Thomas Jefferson were to be elected president, he would bring into the White House his slave mistress and "murder, robbery, rape, adultery and incest will all be openly taught and practiced." Should the nation select Andrew Jackson as its next leader, they would be choosing the offspring of "a common prostitute brought to this country by the British soldiers! She afterward married a mulatto man, with whom she had several children; General Jackson is one!" Grover Cleveland, should he be tapped to lead the nation, would bring moral shame upon America as "the father of an illegitimate child.
What's louder than a frat boy at a party? A frat boy on the third floor of Joyner. Guess what? We are all uncomfortable on the bus when it is over crowded but by all means please keep complaining loudly because you are the ONLY one inconvenienced! What the heck happened on Sept.
Perhaps you have walked out of class one day to discover an unexpected rainfall. You may have been wearing your Rainbows or your favorite flip-flops, and for whatever reason, might have decided to take off your shoes and attack the wet ground with your bare feet.
For those of you who do not know, there is apparently a massive particle accelerator 300 feet below Meyrin, Switzerland that has the potential to open many doors in the department of physics, and/or to create micro black holes that can grow to doomsday proportions.